Reflections on being thankful

It's funny that only one year ago I was in a situation - in Virginia, the holidays approaching along with winter, the temps and snow as proof. This year I am in New Mexico with the holidays approaching and winter in full bloom, or so it seems. It isn't the official start of winter yet but I guess "old man winter" decided to get a head start. This weekend brought the first snow storm of the winter in New Mexico. It was 4 days of approximately 4-5 inches of snow. It is a "Winter wonderland" with beautiful powdery snow everywhere the eye can see. Temperatures are ranging anywhere from 20's to 30's with wind chills in the teens. Thanksgiving is this coming Thursday and I am truly thankful for the incredible blessings that have come my way. I have decided that this year I will be thankful for the snow and even more thankful that I am prepared for it with warm clothes and shelter. I am thankful for being here in New Mexico and the amazing opportunities that have come my way. I am also grateful for the opportunity to travel this week to see my family and friends. My feelings of gratitude and thankfulness are ongoing, not limited to once a year. Not for the big things only, but for the small things as well. That is the way it should be. Being thankful and grateful is a choice. Choose to be thankful instead of regretful today and everyday. That's what I think! What do you think? What are you grateful for today and everyday? Ruthy

My new adventure

It's been awhile but I'm long overdue in my postings. I am in New Mexico on my new adventure which started August 12th. Life is about change and I am so grateful to have my friends who have been here to share and travel with me, many of them vicariously. But the support and love that I've gotten from my friends is something that can never be replaced or taken for granted. Starting life in a new place can be stressful and starting a new job can add to that stress. However, it is possible to overcome that stress as long as you have friends and the right attitude. I've got both and for that I can say thank you to friends, family, and God. So, as the seasons change and life goes on, I'll keep you posted on my adventure! Here's what I think: Life is an adventure and it should be shared. What do you think? Ruthy

Stress Management 101: Let it Go!

It's been a month since I last posted and I've experienced a lot of stress, considering I was moving. I'm sure there are many of you who will agree with me that moving ranks high on the list of potential stressors. I've done it several times and the one thing that I can say is that when it comes to moving, the only thing I can recommend is these three words "let it go". I say that because I've had two very wise women say some version of that to me twice. The first time was when I initially arrived in VA and then last weekend from a dear friend at church. Both of them said to me, after I'd told them of my challenges with moving simply said "You're here now". In other words they were saying to me "let it go, you're okay". One thing we know is that when we allow stressful situations to replay continuously in our minds the stress response does not turn off which results in a continual build up of those stress hormones that can ultimately lead to the development of chronic conditions, disease and illness. Not something that I'm interested in, I can tell you! So, my recommendation: Let it go! Look at where you are after the stressful event and instead of retelling and replaying the event or situation just remember "you're here now". That's what I think. What about you? Ruthy

Stress Management 101 Tip for the day - Spirituality

Spiritual wellness is the connection that one has with a higher power. Those ideas and principles that gives life meaning, purpose and direction. It involves actions and behaviors that are selfless rather than selfish. It is expressed through acts of compassion and service, quietness and stillness, mindfulness and thoughtfulness. Spirituality precedes spiritual wellness because one needs to have the spiritual connection in order to engage in spiritual wellness. How does this relate to stress management? Spirituality as a tool for stress management is effective in helping one achieve balance in the mind-body awareness. Prayer and meditation are a few ways which one can practice spirituality. Doing these daily is recommended for both optimal wellness and stress reduction. Works for me. Think about it. What works for you? Let me know what you think! Ruthy

Stress Management 101: Tip for today - "Me time"

Time flies when your having fun is what people tend to say. That may be true but time changes when you're stressed. It can appear to go quickly or it can feel as though it has slowed down significantly. One of the most common barriers to effective stress management and self-care is the inability of individuals to take time for themselves. The reason most people don't take time for themselves is because of constant over scheduling, family obligations, work commitments, poor time management or lack of prioritization. So the perception is that there are "not enough hours in the day" to do everything that needs to be done and taking time out for oneself is not feasible. That is where the stress builds. Taking time for oneself allows the mind to renew and the spirit to regroup effectively. The end result is the ability to think clearly and engage in efficient problem solving. So, what do I think? Take brief 10 minute time-outs a couple times each day to get to a quiet place, meditate, turn the lights down low and do some deep breathing exercises. It will make a world of difference! Try it and let me know what you think!

Stress Managment 101: Creative Solving Problem - part 4

It's been too long and I apologize for the delay. But I want to get this last post in to complete the series. I talked about the Four Players/characters that play a role in creative problem solving when it comes to stress management. There is the "explorer", the "judge", the "artist" and the last one is the "warrior". The Warrior is the final stage in the decision and problem solving process. This is the character/player that takes the final decision to the surface and makes it happen! Think about election campaigns. Each candidate presents their position confidently to the constituents and public as the best and that is what the warrior does in problem solving. Once a decision is made, all that's left is to take that decision or strategy and implement it with as much confidence and commitment one can have. So there you have it: the four parts/players within each individual that makes up the problem solving process. Remember stress is often perceived rather than real. Take the time to engage the four players in creative problem solving and watch it work. You'll be pleased at the outcome and less stressed! What do you think? Let me know.

Stress Management 101 tip for today: Creative Problem Solving Part 3

Well it's been an interesting couple days since posting part 2 in this series of 4 but I have been putting all of these into practice. So, lets get caught up on the first 2 players/characters in Creative Problem Solving that exists in each of us: the Explorer (brainstorming)and the Artist (sketches out the possibilities). This post is about the third player/character, the Judge. The role of the Judge is to decide specifically which idea is the best and most appropriate for the situation. Picture "Judge Judy" and her gavel. Yes we all have that capability. Although in a stressful situation it may seem difficult but it doesn't have to be. Many times the "judge" is not allowed to make the decision because of fear and mistrust in ourselves of the unknown. That fear and mistrust only compounds an already stressful situation. So make a decision to trust those decisions that come as a result of the process and get ready to implement it with the last character/player which is the "Warrior". I'll discuss the Warrior characteristic in the next post. Let me know what you think when it comes to making stressful decisions.

Stress Management 101: Tip-Creative Problem Solving 2

This is the second of four posts in the series on Creative Problem Solving as a tool for Stress Management. To remind you, there are 4 players/ types of characteristics in this approach. We looked at the Explorer character that engages in brainstorming to find possible solutions. The next player/ character is the Artist. The role of the artist is to see how each solution or idea relates to the problem. The artist paints a picture which, helps clarify and narrow the playing field. When it comes to stress management the artist is instrumental in allowing the individual to experience a sense of control, reducing the anxiety associated with problem solving subsequently improving the likelihood of success and eventual resolution. We all have an artist within. What kinds of pictures are we painting? Gloom and doom? Dark and dreary? Sunny and bright? Optimism and possibility? One leads to increased stress and one leads to reduced stress. That's what I think. What about you? The next post will be about the player/characteristic of the " judge" within us.

Stress Management 101: Tip for the day - Creative problem solving

One key source of stress is the lack of effective problem solving. When presented with a problem that looks or seems to be insurmountable many individuals shut down, practice avoidance, or go into overdrive. Each of these has its own negative implications and creates stress that can start out as short term but end up being long term due to the unsolved problem. One of my favorite presentations is on the topic of creative problem solving. The one thing that I enjoyed about preparing for this presentation was the information that I found while researching the topic. Brian Luke Seaward writes that there are four components to creative problem solving which are represented in four players: the Explorer, the Artist, the Judge and the Warrior. We'll take a look at each of these in the next couple posts. First is the Explorer. In creative problem solving this is where brainstorming takes place. Nothing is off limits. All ideas and suggestions are accepted regardless of merit. The refining process comes later. Many people get stalled in the brainstorming process because we miss the primary purpose of brainstorming which is to generate ideas. We automatically try to determine or figure out what will or won't work. So, here's your assignment for today. Whatever challenge or problem you're facing try brainstorming for solutions. Put every idea on paper and remember- nothing is to absurd, strange, out of bounds or unreasonable. It can be fun and refreshing to actually let that unrestricted thinking/flow of ideas just happen. It's like throwing a handful of feathers into the air and watching them fall without influencing where they land. I like brainstorming. It's a refreshing change of pace and process. When you have no limits you dramatically reduce your stress. That's the first stage of creative problem solving. We'll continue with this concept in the next post. Those are my thoughts. What do you think?

Stress Management 101 Tip for the day: Laugh!

Laughter is good for the soul! When you're stressed out the last thing you want to do might be laughing. But laughing is actually one of the best things for you. Laughter lightens the mood and actually produces the same chemicals in the body that promote relaxation in most of the critical systems in the body including the respiratory, circulatory and muscular systems. Laughing also produces endorphins which are the body's feel good chemicals (you don't need to be an athlete to get those endorphins pumping! Research from the Mayo Clinic and other experts confirm that laughing regularly enhances the immune system, aids in pain relief, and helps in dealing with challenging situations. You might even live longer. So think about it. When you laugh, you tend to forget the tension and stress in your world. Laughter can be so contagious that all of sudden others are laughing along with you. So make it a habit to find something funny everyday and keep that stress down. Let me know what you think!

Stress relief from laughter? http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress-relief/SR00034

Ruthy

Stress Management 101: Don't worry...be happy!

There are so many things that can cause stress. Worry is one of them. Why? Because humans generally worry about something, someone, some circumstance or some issue of which they have no control. That fear of a lack of control creates stress that spills over into everything, every act and/or everybody every minute of everyday. So consider this... There is such a thing as concern which evokes a problem solving mindset. The key is to distinguish between concern and worry. In order to do that ask yourself a few key questions: First- what is the origin of this issue? Is it a concrete or tangible issue? Is it real or perceived? Is it visible of invisible? These questions will aide in helping to determine the appropriate response. Second- Is there some positive, concrete or tangible resolution that can be achieved as a result of worrying versus concern? Is there some action that I can take out of concern that would have a better outcome than worrying? What is the cost of concern versus worry? Think about these questions. Feel free to insert the names of people, places, situations or whatever you may be stressed about into the questions. Once you can understand that there are many things that don't warrant worry. Being concerned is ok but remember that concern should lead to action. Eliminating worry is one way to "be stress free"! That's what I think... What about you?

Stress Management 101: Tip for today - Smile!

Ever wonder about the power of smiling? Smiling is such a powerful tool against stress. It can actually evoke those endorphins that make us feel good and invite others to do the same. It takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown. Here is a great TED talk that explains the power of smiling. It's one of my favorite. When you are feeling like it's just one of those days when nothing is going right and stress is all around you with negative effects, try smiling. It really does make a difference. It's worth a try. That's what I think. Watch this TED talk and then tell me what you think.

Stress Management 101 tip for today: Massage

Stress has been linked to many types of physical ailments. Who among us has not experienced the tight neck and upper body muscles that accompany stress? Those kinks that prevent us from being able to move freely occur as the result of both long term and short term stress when our muscles do something called

"bracing"

Bracing is, according to Kottler and Chen in the book Stress Management and Prevention, an involuntary muscle contraction in the neck and back muscles. Many people don't realize that they are in a braced posture during the course of a day. So just think about what happens when there is a known stressful encounter. The tightening and bracing of the muscles can easily intensify. The benefits of massage therapy are numerous. Elliott Greene in the Encyclopedia of Alternative Medicine, refers to massage as

"a non-drug intervention"

for counteracting the damaging effects of stress. Massage is instrumental in addressing bracing and relieving the tension in those muscles but also in promoting the healing and relaxation for the body, mind and spirit. Massage also promotes increased blood flow throughout the body, reduced inflammation and soothing of the nervous system. There are different types of massage including Swedish, Deep tissue, Oriental massage, and my favorite - Hot stone massage! Each has specific benefits and techniques but all have the same effect - wonderful feelings of relaxation and calm. So, when was the last time you had a massage? I think starting off with scheduling a massage once a month is a good goal. When was the last time you had a massage? What do you think?

Reference: Kottler, J. & Chen, D. (2011). Stress Management and Prevention, chapter 2. Thomson Wadsworth Publishing. Greene, E. (1998). Massage and Touch in Jennifer Jacobs, ed. The Encyclopedia of Alternative Medicine. Journey Editions Publishing.

Stress Management 101 tip for today: Aromatherapy

How many times have you walked into a room and felt a change in your demeanor just because of the smell in the air? Yes. Our moods and health are greatly influenced by certain scents or the aroma. Today's tip focuses on Aromatherapy and stress. Aromatherapy falls into the category of Complementary and Alternative Medicine. It is increasing in popularity as people become more aware of and are seeking options for health and healing, aside from pharmaceutical remedies. Aromatherapy is used by practitioners in a number of ways including massage therapy and as an addition to cancer treatment. Businesses use it to entice shoppers/clients to buy a service or product by putting them in a good mood. Aromatherapy is generally practiced through the use of essential oils or products containing essential oils including lotions, candles, bath products, herbal teas, and healing preparations such as creams or ointments. There are specific do's and don'ts that should be considered when using essential oils but for purposes of stress management candles and diffusers are good recommendations to get started. Some of the best oils for addressing stress are lavender, lemongrass, bergamot, and jasmine. They aid in calming the body and the mind. Adding a few drops to bath water, on a light bulb in a lamp or to a carrier oil such as grapeseed, sweet almond, olive or sunflower to make a body/massage oil gets you started on the road relieving stress and total relaxation. You can also put a few drops of an essential oil in an oil burner and let the fragrance fill the room! One thing: be very careful with essential oils because they are very potent and should be diluted to avoid damage to skin, furniture, etc. It is a wonderful feeling to walk into a room that is filled with the natural scents of lavender, lemongrass, peppermint or sandalwood. Not only will your stress levels go south, but your relaxation and positive energy levels will increase. Give it a try and let me know what you think!

Stress Management 101: Tip for today

Time Management! A lot of stress is due to the lack of effective time management. Do you ever feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day to do everything that you need or want to do? Well in fact there are and the key is to prioritize and plan as much as possible. Doing so will help reduce the stress that accompanies the perception that nothing is getting done or the feeling of being overwhelmed. Make a "To Do" list. Put the important items/tasks at the top and continue with the lowest priorities as you move down the list. Estimate the amount of time that you think will be needed to complete each task and then get started. Don't forget to include time for breaks and meals: otherwise you'll defeat the purpose. Whatever doesn't get done on your list can be moved to the next day in the top position. Another idea is to use your calendars for meetings and events. The calendars on phones, tablets and computers (cloud based too) come with neat alarm and reminder functions so that you can always be alerted no matter where you are or what you're doing. I like the convenience of the cloud based calendars and reminders. Getting that reminder in my email and on my phone is fantastic and has helped me greatly in improving my efficiency. That's my tip for today. What do you think?

Stress tip: get some sleep!

Have you ever heard someone say: sleep on it and you'll feel better? There actually is some merit to that statement. Stress uses energy which can make you tired. Lack of sleep is related to negative and harmful situations externally and internally. Research confirms the link between lack of sleep/insomnia and vehicle crashes, headaches, poor concentration, immune deficiency and obesity. All of these cause stress in the body (internally) but can also impact the individual externally. Daily activities including home and personal life also suffer which results in additional stress. Important responsibilities get neglected and overlooked. But you have trouble sleeping you say? Try this, exercise during the day. At least 30 minutes of exercise works wonders and will help you get to sleep, but try to avoid vigorous exercise before going to bed. Instead, try yoga, stretching or deep breathing which allow the mind and body to slow down eventually assisting in the secretion of serotonin and the onset of relaxation and sleep. How much sleep should you get? Aim for at least 8 hours. Your body will thank you for it and your stress levels will go south. You'll wake up with a clear mind, well rested and ready to face the world. Works for me. What about you? Tell me what you think.

Stress management tip for the day

Spend a little time in nature. Observe the beauty around you that arrives right on schedule as the seasons change. For many of you the seasons seem to never change, but for others of us it's about time :-). So, take the time to clear your mind and feel the incredible peace that arrives when you intentionally engage yourself in the beauty of God's creation. Just for today. Try it. Let me know what you think. Stay stress free. Ruthy

Stress management 101

Stress is pretty serious. It's inevitable and lurking around every corner but there's good news. It doesn't have to rule our lives. So starting today, I'm going to post daily tips to help you address, mitigate, reduce and even prevent stress. Feel free to add your personal tips as well in your comments. Today's tip: GRATITUDE Adopting a spirit of gratitude allows one to take stock of all that one has, instead of what one doesn't have. This includes the tangible as well as the intangibles of life. Did you wake up this morning? Do you have clothes to wear? Do you have all of the senses; a clear mind, working limbs, food, clothing, shelter etc.? You get my drift. Gratitude also helps one understand needs versus wants, ultimately arriving at the destination of contentment and fulfillment. There are things that one needs; those things that are essential to survival. Then again there are things that one wants but can live without. True gratitude gives one a clear perspective about what is truly important. I'm grateful for health, friends, family, life, God's love and fresh air. Those are a few things on my gratitude list. I could go on but that's what I think. Now, you think about it and then answer this question? What are you grateful for? Make a list and share some of your list with us. Make a list daily. It will change your life and reduce your stress.

What have YOU learned?

As another school year wraps up it's the end of the semester once again. Time for final exams, final projects and program assessments for students and professors. In my classes I like to do final projects that essentially ask the students what they've learned about topics such as Stress Management and Personal Wellness. It blows me away to see some of the presentations that students submit with their personal stash of tools and strategies that they compile from the information in the class. Why? Because there are times when I question whether my efforts are effective but then the day for the final project presentations arrives and I am pleasantly surprised. So what have I learned? I've learned that once again, my work is important and appreciated. Most importantly I've learned the significance of staying the course, believing in what I do, reinforcing my mission and living my dream even on those days when it seems like the message is not valued. So what have you learned?